Writer's Notebook

Following her beating up by what was soon to be her x-husband, we had hoped Violette would be out of hospital by Christmas. Simon wanted her to come back to our house. Had Thérèse and Guillaume been present, he would have been more than happy to let them look after her. But they were planning on a Christmas trip to Strasbourg to visit Thérèse' parents. I initially agreed but soon began having second thoughts.

I'd heard rumours about a relationship between Violette and Simon long before I came on the scene. I didn't know much about what had gone on, didn't want to know really. What mattered was Simon's faithfulness right now, not what had transpired years before. Had I asked Simon about things right away, there would have been no problem. But before long panic set in and I became convinced the whole business was nothing but an elaborate scheme to enable Violette and Simon to get back together again.

The evening before Violette was due to arrive I drank almost a whole bottle of wine waiting for Simon to return from the centre. My mind was spinning as he stood there before me a bunch of roses and his big smile on his face. Could this be play acting? I turned my back, refusing to take the roses. In the mirror I saw the smile disappear from his eager face. I turned round and poured out my venom:

'What the hell are you playing at?' You come here with a bunch of flowers and think I know absolutely nothing about your little deception?'

Simon stared at me aghast. The next thing I knew the floor changed places with the ceiling and the hardness of underneath me gave way to the fuzzy softness of my dreams. I awoke the next morning I forced a smile and those eyes began to take on a little more of their usual brightness. I sat up but someone started playing the drums in my head. Simon's hand stroked my forehead:

'Just lie down still. Everything will be fine. What on earth made you drink what you did yesterday evening?'

I tried to think, tried to explain, but the only answer Simon got were the tears that and began rolling down my face. Simon took me in his arms and in that moment I knew. I knew that whatever had gone on between Simon and Violette before we met, there was nothing, now. I knew that Simon had not betrayed my trust and felt instinctively he never would. And I knew that before Simon left for the hospital I had a lot of unpacking to do, so I'd best start right away.