There Once Was Hope

Change is dream, once even hope
Hope like a beacon; fading, enthralling
Keep going, you can, you will;
All is lost, since nothing remains.

then twice,
then followed another
I lived, believed, grasped,
felt all well, at last,
until eternal optimist, eternal pessimist became
nourished by doubt of failure
hope's flame put out
I lie down,
I quit

Life, experience, knowledge: trinity of enemies
campaign with loud slogans: change futile,
become what you are, desire nothing else;
weeds which strangle hope's last breath.


I'm continuing to work on the character I've been developing these last few weeks. This poem, written by him is a reflection on change in his life. There's once small stylistic lapse, wonder if anyone will notice it. If you do, maybe you have a suggestion for me.

4 July 2009 at 09:18  

Hi Paul, I think the line that jolts the whole piece is “I quit” Your poem talks about chances, of dreams and hopes, - even if they are dwindling, there is a tiny spark, a flame of inspiration still striving to live – but that line kills it – and kills the poem. For me the poem takes you on a journey of all those frustrating depressing times where there is little hope and you lay down and say “Enough” – but you still get up – in tiny tiny steps.. and keep going.
Many apologies for my tardiness on giving feedback – I have been without the internet for a lifetime – a fortnight. Visitors can find my FF for 3rd July here -

18 July 2009 at 08:33  

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