griZZlies

There could be no doubt about it; Tommy was more than disappointed with the horror charm he dug out of his latest packet of griZZlies. He put the sugar cube on the table in front of him. It certainly wasn't a patch on the traitor's-tongue-tip he'd dug out of the first packet. He'd been overjoyed with that - there had been just 13 different pieces; you couldn't cut up a tongue into much more. A fitting end to a tongue that had belonged to Ally Sagen, his country's biggest ever traitor. The second packet also contained a real find: a Dracula-like fang which took pride of place on his neck. And now nothing but a lump of suger. Tommy looked at the packet. He knew most of the names there and couldn't associate any of them with a lump of sugar. Two names, he wasn't sure of; the sugar probably belonged to one of them.

He quickly buttered a piece of toast and raced back up to his bedroom. Ten minutes later he descended the stairs a little more satisfied. It seems the lump of sugar had belonged to a research doctor who had killed his son. He had been doing some research into warfarin anti-dotes and had prepared a few dozen lumps of sugar to administer to a number of volunteers, including his son who had been the first to swallow one of the lumps. Unfortunately... So

Tommy poked his head through the kitchen door to say goodbye to his mother. Sitting at the table in her new dressing-gown she was enjoying her first cup of tea of the day. Tommy froze as he saw that his lump of sugar was no longer where he had placed it.

13 comments:

Such a twisted take on the prize in the cereal box. Loved the fluidity of the piece and the imagery it created. The ending is one of those that leaves you slightly gasping at the almost incomprehensible horror of what is about to take place.

16 April 2010 at 08:57  

I aways enjoy reading 'everything' you write!

16 April 2010 at 09:02  

Reminded me of Stephen King's, Thinner, when he left the pie on the table for his wife and his beloved daughter ate it instead.
Good ending!

16 April 2010 at 09:07  

I like the direction you took the cereal box prize. Sort of a demented twist on something like children collecting baseball cards.

Good stuff

16 April 2010 at 13:00  

I love where you've left it, was it a fake sugar cube? A real one? Or a poisoned one? Great ending.

I think it's really funny we both called the kid in our stories Tommy!

16 April 2010 at 13:55  

A unique twist on the grisly prize. I enjoyed it.

16 April 2010 at 16:47  

That was really grisy and I loved it! My kinda tale.

16 April 2010 at 22:27  

Ooh, clever twist. I liked it.

17 April 2010 at 14:21  

Excellent take on the prompt. I love the concept of the cereal. Any mum who would purchase "griZZlies" for their child should watch where they get their sugar.

18 April 2010 at 14:34  

Great name for the cereal. Your story uses children's interest in the grizzly side of life to great effect.

19 April 2010 at 12:13  

I love the chopped up tongue idea, you've reminded me of how kids delight in things that many of us find absolutely awful. Made me smile.

19 April 2010 at 22:19  

20 April 2010 at 08:25  

that was freaking awesome!! I loved it!

22 April 2010 at 02:33  

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