Humiliation

Two for the price of one today as I've combined this weeks 3WW prompt (bait, jump, victim) with a writing exercise that appeared Monday one the Write Anything site to write a story in just ten lines as follows:

  1. describe the weather
  2. describe a sound
  3. describe an object
  4. update the weather
  5. describe a piece of clothing/ accessory
  6. update the sound
  7. using the object, write something about the mood of the scene
  8. describe an action or movement using the article of clothing or accessory
  9. describe a physical trait of one of the characters
  10. end with a single line of dialogue

The red of the setting sun almost matched that of his cheeks. A snigger went through the room as he desperately sought to evade those eyes directed at him, the victim. He stared at the large at the pebble in front of him: round, smooth, a little jagged at the edges; the worm-like writing and that one single word - which had him baited. The sun was growing ever paler; he hoped his cheeks matched. The gleaming, red pen, bought for the occasion, remained motionless in his hand. Around him the sniggering had died down, replaced by the sound of concentration and the occasional scratch of pen on paper. In front of each writer, a pebble evoking memories of carefree days at the beach, sunshine, laughter; the nadir of the prevailing seriousness. His pen touched paper, jumping down the side of the page forming the letters C A D U Q U E S. He began filling in the lines of an acrostic when he noticed her eyes settle on him, their sparkle offering a thousand excuses, all the time seeking absolution for the guilt brought about by chance. His smile returned, he managed to pluck up courage enough to mouth the words:

"How about a quiet drink together after class?"

10 comments:

Neat twist at the end. I like the pace of this.

21 July 2010 at 15:21  

Wow, you did it! And it makes sense! Sweet last line!

21 July 2010 at 15:36  

Good one!

like an automata

21 July 2010 at 18:21  

very different, a nice twist at the end and loved the flow! :)

21 July 2010 at 18:58  

Nice twist at the end. Creatively done. Came in here through the 3WW.

21 July 2010 at 22:45  

you kept the suspense and the ending line too good to be true!

22 July 2010 at 05:31  

They'll need a drink after that class...

22 July 2010 at 06:13  

Oh, this one was fun. Enjoyed it tremendously!

22 July 2010 at 09:01  

It works well - great job fitting all those parameters into the story!

22 July 2010 at 18:36  

Great use of the prompts. And I like that it's cheerful!

30 July 2010 at 17:21  

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