Writer's Notebook

Hi everyone,

I know it's not usual for the party giver to write a letter of thanks to those who come to the party but I can't help myself. Saturday was such a wonderful day, I spent most of Sunday vacillating between ecstasy and tears. And so I just want to say one great big - I suppose as I'm using a computer I should say mega-big - thank you to all made Saturday night such a wonderful time.

Most of you probably know that I've never really had a family. I grew up in a number of homes, and whereas the carers gave their best to look after us, there was never any real bond between us. This may have been the reason why I never really bonded much once I left the confines of these homes and entered the big, wide world. Sure, there were friends here and there and we often had good times together. I'm sure some of these could have become true friends, if only I had known how to bond. There were also one or two girlfriends down the line. But the moment things got too personal I backed out. So as I drifted through university, I was always surrounded by lots of people, yet deep inside my loneliness cried out. One or two heard the cries; they tried to help. But I kept them at arm's length. That's how I hit upon my career choice. Lots of travelling, never settling down. How appealing that was!

And then I came here. I remember when my boss first said he was opening a school here, I'd never heard of the place. But I wasn't really worried. It would be just one more station on life's sometime ending journey. So why should here be any different? Why indeed?

I'm going to be perfectly honest. I don't know why. A psychologist would tell you that at 45 I realised this was my one last chance. A religious person may speak of God's goodness. I'm not all that religious but I still call it a miracle. Having spent a lifetime looking for some sense of belonging in this world, I'm amazed at what I've found in these five years I've been with you. I can't explain how it came about. Maybe, there is no answer. Maybe, it's just a gift.

So I guess, it's not just to thank you for last night that I'm writing but for all you've given me over the past five years. You're the family I never had.

Oh, and one final thing. Last week my boss talked to me about a new opening. He needed someone available and with experience to head up a new project in Burma. Now that the country's beginning to open up again, there's a big need for new shcools and he thinks I'm just the right guy to head this up. I'm afraid he's still suffering from the shock of my point-blank refusal.

Your brother and friend,

Anton.